Sunday 30 October 2011

Some useless advice

No matter how much you read about India nothing can prepare you for the madness that swirls around this country.

With this in mind, I am going to provide more written information about India that, if you were to travel here, probably won't help you until after the said event and you think back to that time Hana mentioned this would happen.

So, a few tips from a lone New Zealand woman travelling the streets of a booming Indian city (a list which is by no means exhausted, but just a start) -

*If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is - If an auto driver is promising to "show you the sights of Bangalore" for 20 Rupee, you will probably be taken to all of his mates emporiums. Yes everything here is cheap, but 20 Rupee to see Bangalore is too cheap.

*Don't ignore - A polite "no" leaves little room for interpretation, an ignore could be interpreted as "she hasn't heard me, I must continue to try to sell her this bongo drum until she does hear me".

*Always carry an umbrella - Even if the sky is blue the clouds can turn on you in an instant.

*Smile - On the most part this opens you up to people, sometimes very interesting people. When I got here I thought I must not smile at anyone for fear of giving them the wrong idea, but, as long as this said smiling is not done down some small alley way (or Cubbon Park - where just today I got a "hello darling"), everyone here is very friendly and often just want to practise their English on you.

*Read - books here are so cheap. Store up all those novels you have planned to read for the past year, curl up at a cafe with a (usually) sweet tea and read until your heart is content. Or your reading list has been exhausted.

*Time is not important - Traffic rules the clock here.

*Do not fear if you don't see a female for an entire block, they have not been kidnapped, I don't think - Seriously, men are everywhere and, well, women are not. Often these men will be holding hands or walking with their arms around each other - affection between the men is everywhere, young and old. I'm yet to see it with the females.

*There are three versions of the shaking of the head - where we have a nod for yes and a shake for no, India also has a head wobble. It means "OK, OK". I learnt this after two weeks of me shaking my head at Lewy, the cook, and not understanding as he continued to load my plate up with more food while (I thought) I was saying no. I must have been saying OK.







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